Divorce is designed to terminate a marriage.  Must it also destroy relationships and shatter finances?  Is it possible for spouses to divorce and continue to provide a foundation and support for the newly restructured family?

Collaborative divorce provides a way to resolve a divorce in a safe, cooperative and respectful manner.  Through a series of negotiating sessions, the parties and their lawyers discuss immediate concerns, identify long-term goals, share necessary financial information and jointly retain neutral financial and counseling professionals as part of the collaborative team.

During negotiating sessions, possible solutions to various problems are discussed, and mutually acceptable options are chosen.  Conflict is reduced by the parties’ mutual commitment to the collaborative divorce process which requires the following:

• A ban on litigation or threats to litigate during the collaborative process;
• The disqualification of collaborative lawyers and team members from representation in court;
• The voluntary and complete disclosure of relevant financial information;
• The joint retention of mutual financial and counseling experts as collaborative team members;
• The use of the mediation model of good faith, interest-based negotiations.

Collaborative divorce practice provides a unique alternative to expensive and time consuming litigation.  It entails a unique settlement process that works within the legal system while keeping the parties out of the courtroom.  Rather than relying upon court-imposed resolutions, it fosters an atmosphere of honesty, cooperation, integrity and professionalism within which the parties negotiate a settlement geared toward their future well-being.

Specially trained attorneys, neutral financial advisors and neutral communication or counseling experts assist couples to divorce with dignity and respect.  Rather than depending upon the courtroom for solutions, the collaborative divorce team attends a series of meetings with their clients to settle the case in a calm, private and non-threatening environment.

Collaborative divorce is only one of many dispute resolution models available to divorcing couples.  The best option will depend upon the facts, finances, goals and personalities involved.  However, the collaborative divorce process does offer the following advantages:

1.         The focus is solely on settlement;

2.         It creates a less emotionally volatile atmosphere;

3.         It contains more tools for resolving children’s issues;

4.         It can lower the risk of making a bad deal;

1. It often results in a better quality deal; and

1.  Legal fees are lower and more efficiently used.

Collaborative divorce practice is not appropriate for all cases and is not a perfect or foolproof system.  However, it does offer a hopeful alternative to families facing legal disputes and conflicts who possess a desire to settle their differences out of court.

If you are contemplating or are already faced with divorce or other family law issues, I encourage you to learn about collaborative divorce.  Go to my web site at www.mlparkerlaw.com where you will find additional information and links to other sites to help you learn more.  If after reading these materials, you would like to schedule an initial consultation with me, please call (570) 424‑9100 to schedule an appointment.  I look forward to meeting with you to discuss this further.

Mary Louise Parker,, Esquire

As we muddle through long days of the darker side of the year, we sometimes tend to focus on things that will help ease the coldness as it sets in our bones. Maybe for you it’s a new outfit, the latest designer bag, or the end –of – winter sales on boots, scarves and smart gloves. I’m there!

However, while all of these activities appeal to me, and I am serious– I love nice things. But during these days of trudging through icy winds, snow, and chill factors, there is also something else that I think is of enough importance to share here with you, I am actually hoping that upon reading this, you, too, will look at this “dormant” season as a time to reflect, to learn and with some activism on your part, to even  improve your lifestyle.

Here is my list of Mid-Winter stimulants and I am not talking coffee or chocolate candy here…

I am talking about women getting educated on the issues that affect us locally and nationally.

It’s a Presidential election year and we are already being bombarded with ads from partisan parties and Super PACSs supporting or attacking the candidates that are running for elective office. It is the silly season and frankly the TV ads make me weary with all the hoopla about the caucuses and the unending timetable to the November election. It really is a campaign – to win our vote.

So I gave this some thought and here is just a sample of what I want to know before I cast my precious vote next November.  My vote is precious and I want to be sure it goes for someone who shares my feelinsg on those issues that are of importance to me – Ms Middle Class American Woman.

Here I go________

Fracking – Some of you may not even know what fracking is – Simply put, it is drilling for natural gas deep into the earth’s surface.

Why should we be concerned about this activity?

Because-If fracking is done on the cheap, or without concern for the environment, it can contaminate our drinking water.

How does this affect Monroe County?

If there is not some recourse/or a respectable revenue rebate  for this delicate activity, we could be paying large cleanup costs not unlike the oil spill in the Gulf. There are no intentions to engage in fracking in Monroe County as of now and there may never be. But the cost of fracking elsewhere in PA could affect us no matter  where the possible contamination would occur.

Jobs for Monroe County..

What is the plan for more jobs for Monroe County?

We always get hit harder here economically because of our “lean –to” economy that is basically tourism-based. The surrounding areas (Lehigh Valley/Scranton etc) are seeing some bounce, but we are still slugging it out here, mostly due to the lack of industry.

If I were at any local candidate’s political forum, I would ask what IS their plan for bringing jobs to Monroe County? And I would ask for specifics—Like WHAT industries or businesses do they have in mind? WHERE will they be located? HOW will they blend into our natural landscape and our  green goals?

Transportation:

How can we get around this county a little easier? How can our infrastructure be improved in order to attract businesses to locate here? What major road projects would be needed in order to combat the bottlenecks on I-80, Route 611 and other major routes? How will these improvements be paid for? Again, I would ask our local candidates what they feel needs to be addressed in order to clear up the T -jams that are occurring with more frequency in our county.

People are losing their jobs and their homes  in Monroe County. We need good leaders that will work for us and not for themselves.  And we need to check on them periodically to see that they are living up to that high position that we reserve for them – our trust.  If not, we have the power to vote them out of office.

Right now our Congress in Washington is rated so low that it is right down there with child pornographers ..Their recent actions (or shall I say inactions) have betrayed our trust and because of their inaction, we are suffering!

So we need to sit up and take notice. How can we take action? Begin reading!  Learn about some of these aforementioned issues or your own pet issues in your local news or online. Then sort out the messages that are laced with propaganda and try to get to the truth of what will really help us and our neighbors to  move forward.

With Super Bowl coming up, I know there are a lot of women who have come to love football and the term “football widow” isn’t really used that much anymore, is it? Well, the time for women to find out what will work for them and their families in terms of lifestyle is of the utmost importance, too. It is time for women to act.  We need to help one another more than ever. Become the quarterback and use your voice. Follow it up with some action that will help you, your family and  your community.

So be sure to vote like your well-being depends upon it. Because it really does. And, voting is FREE.

Now, about that One Day Sale @ Macy’s….

Trudie Lear

Well, this morning, I read an item or two about making your life healthier. Instead of just being better at something or doing good works, this approach will help you to have a better life – health-wise and maybe even cut down on your medical bills or business –related insurance bills. if you decide to use the ideas below for your workplace you may wish to visit bhg.com which is my source of inspiration for this item. I can easily relate to resolving to lose weight or to stop a certain bad habit, but if we take action and change the behavior that will allow that improvement to our body or mind to happen, well, then you’ve got something going..

For instance:

When I worked at the Chamber of Commerce, there was a long hallway between my office and the break room and the restrooms… I would drink  a zillion cups of coffee when I worked and I walked to that restroom many times as we all know you merely “rent” coffee. I often wondered how many steps I had walked on any given day when the coffee was flowing, so one day I wore a pedometer and to my surprise, my daily trek to and from the coffee urn and restroom and a daily stroll over lunch hour added up to more than 4 miles!  So to this I say, ” Go for it, girls!” Walk to lunch, to the restroom to the water cooler, to wherever you can inside and outside your workplace, up and down the stairs, and wear a pedometer if you have one so that you can track yourself and go 10 more steps each day if you wish to make it healthier for yourself. Your goal? Realistically, 6000 steps. Challenge level: 10000 steps!

In the past,I have always engaged in some form of physical activity other than walking to keep in shape. HIgh and low aerobics, Kickboxing, tennis, Yoga, just to name a few of my favs for inner and out strength. During the last few years, however,I have slacked off due to aging limitations and sitting. Sitting and aging are sedentary behaviors that will get the best of you. Beware!  The things you eat while sitting will automatically move it to your seat.  So I have begun to take up Pilates for core strength and through that I have not only begun to feel stronger, but I have also met the nicest group of women who are a good support system for me to return to class. Some of us have become friends and we will meet outside of class for fun – shopping, birthday celebrations, lunch, etc. I have since added on a Zumba class with a couple of the Pilates women and I look forward to a new year of more physical training and burning off more calories in activity that does not include sitting for long periods of time. Gotta move!

Sitting for long periods of time is not healthy for you. It has been proven medically that if you are seated for long periods of time, you should take a break and stand for a few minutes each hour. This will result in you  refocusing your mind and getting some fresh ideas. So walk while you chat on that conference call, or do an errand to break up a long period of being at the screen. Or go for a cup of coffee! That will get you up TWICE!

These are just a couple of ideas that can freshen up your outlook and help you to feel better during these long, wintry months. They are simple plans of action that will remind  you to start moving again. Keep moving, and keep playing with a group / support system. Try volleyball, Pilates, bowling, roller derby whatever floats your boat! …Speaking of which; I have booked a Cruise with my BFFs for Springtime. Now that is surely the best motivation of all to get moving and lose a few pounds.

Bermuda, here I come and I plan to look GREAT!

With that in mind, we hope that you look forward to 2012 with possibility, hope and energy!

Sponsors and Vendors

Silpada Jewelry

AuPair Care: Need a Nanny?

  Pocono Morning Mix Online Broadcasting

Geisinger Health Systems: Women’s health

Riley & Co

Deerfield Spa: Massages & more!

Massage Academy of the Poconos; massage demo

Josephine Mero, MSW, LMSW
Private Counseling & Psychotherapy Practice  and

Josephine’s Fleur-de-lis, Inc.
Life’s Speciality Boutique

Stampin’ Up!

Aflac: Complete with the infamous duck!

Aksessorize It!

Christina’s Oasis Nail and Hair Salon

Mauka Nalu Pilates and SUP Inc

Susan Field Photography

Pretty Lady Shop Accessories

Miche Bags & Purses

Tupperware

Cherese Inc: hair accessories

Scarlet Ice Jewels & Bridget’s Gift Gallery

Marshalls Creek Chiropractic: Wellness for Women

Book signing by local author, Vicki Mavis @ Core People Resources

Griswold Care : because we care

PA Rep. Rosemary Brown

Paparazzi Party: with photos to go!

Extra Time Personal Assistance Service

MLParker, Esquire

Mnro Cty League of Wmn Voters

Pocono Arts Council’s “Women in Art” Display

The Gregory W. Moyer Fund, “Let the Beat Go On!” AED’s

Food for local families: Stbg Wesleyan collection of non-perishables. PoconoWomen: Italian Merona Glass rings, power bracelets.

Our Breakout Session Speakers and their special topics for women:

• Keynote Speaker, Rachel Moyer will give an inspiring message on “Embracing Your Inner Strength”

•  “360 Degrees of Success!” – Ali Schratt, Publisher of Flair Mag will unveil the pitfalls and triumphs of her journey to publishing her colorful, informative publication.

• NEW! Embracing Cranial Sacral Therapy!” Massaging the spina area near the base of the brain for stress relief. Hosted by Stroudsburg Massage Academy

• “Rags to Riches” – Holley Kearns (KNBT Bank Mgr) and Nikki O’Malley (Morgan Stanley) will take you through an imaginary women’s business and it’s up to you to help her succeed! Take home the smart tips from these female pros for your own business and you can succeed, too!

• “Embrace a Charity” – Maryanne Heeter of Farr-Healy Associates, will guide you to choosing a charity that will be a good fit for your business brand.

• “Embrace your Body” Frankee Davis of ECHO will define the different body shapes and advise how – to’s for dressing for success!

• !Plus a special Tribute to local women who make it work! …AND an all-you-can-eat champagne brunch!

REGISTER NOW. Go to the Registration window on this sliding module and fill out the form. Pay with Paypal or your credit card or you may also mail a check for $50 made payable to PoconoWomen to PoconoWomen, PO Box 343, Sciota, PA 18354. Be sure to click on SUBMIT when your registration is complete! Easy!

One Woman’s Experience of Enlightening and Pricey (?) Experience
By Dellagate

When you want to learn a new skill or method, one of the best ways is to go to someone who’s already doing it – watch and listen. That’s the approach Charlene Blacer, founder of HelpMe2Stop.org, took when she joined a charitable mission to Haiti, a nation still healing from the devastation left by massive earthquakes that shook it from its foundations in 2010.

This first-hand account, brought home one deceptively simple explanation how organizations dedicated to contributing to humanitarian aid might be undermining their own efforts. And, in addition, how this could unknowingly discourage volunteerism and lessen the impact these well-intentioned organization aspire to make.

With an ultimate goal of expanding the outreach service of HelpMe2Stop (established to help restore hair lost to compulsive pulling (Trichotillomania) and other causes) globally, Charlene, took the initiative to learn more. She sought out a non-profit already in the trenches (so to speak) and enrolled as a volunteer. Because of Charlene’s desire to learn, the trip was funded at her own expense.

“We participated in the mission with an American-based organization on August 10-13, 2011. Overall, this was an excellent learning experience for me – but not in the way I first expected.” expressed Charlene.

“I knew and understood that this would be a great way to gain hands-on experience, kind of an on-the-job training,” she explained. The decision took her to Haiti to visit and deliver relief and needed supplies and also took her 3 children with her who will play with and support the young orphans.

The organization Charlene traveled with is a group claiming to have over 17 years of experience in overseas humanitarian work. They’re dedicated to providing aid and rescuing children and teens from human trafficking and is currently in the process of building a home that will serve as a transitional shelter for those escaping the sex trade.

The object of their attention was an orphanage (one of many) in Croix-des-Bouquets, a once thriving artistically creative suburban community, only 8 miles northeast of Port au Prince, Haiti’s capital. The community of Croix-des-Bouquets is post-earthquake, a city of ten-thousand plus tents and other makeshift domiciles.

“It was nerve-wracking how often the subject of a shortage of trip funds was stressed throughout the trip”, remembers Charlene. “Here I am, in a foreign country, thousands of miles away from home, with my children and all I’m hearing is concern about is that ‘Haiti is so expensive’!

Not that she was expecting extravagance or special privileges, however, with the underlying, persistent concern about the trip’s budget (or lack thereof) hanging in the air, Charlene discerned, “The itinerary said one thing, but the experience was another. Just thinking about it now brings back the stressful feelings. I mean if I had to spend what I spent, I think I would end up living in those tent camps with no electricity and water 24/7.”

The highlight of the trip was Charlene and her children did get to pay their visits to the orphanage, which not only included interaction with the children but also it was suggested to donate school supplies.

Though according to the travel itinerary, all of which stated it would include documentary coverage and be given to US media and press, the visit ended up filmed on pocket cameras. When she inquired later about viewing the footage: “I was told (by an organization official) all of the footage had been accidentally deleted,” she remembers. “For me, it was disappointing because I’d looked forward to having something to share.”

In summary, Charlene shares,“The things I learned on this journey (for me) turned out to be more frightening than enlightening.” Why? The airline safety saying, ‘Put on your own mask first’. In other words, how can we help others if haven’t covered ourselves?’

Charlene’s solution? Begin at the beginning: “To grow a strong tree, you first need a solid root. The non-profit is the root. If there is insecurity or instability – especially the financial type, and an inability to properly sustain ourselves, how will we see the way clear to provide the type of assistance that’s going to help improve things out in the field? Put on your own mask first. Then you can help your neighbor secure theirs.”

The experience has provided greater clarity on the ways Charlene would like HelpMe2Stop (HM2S) to conduct their own humanitarian work – especially in regards to pre-planning and budgeting.

Charlene is working with a project manager, and hired a Chief Financial Officer, expressly for the purpose of financing, budgeting and setting up for future missions-type work.

The ‘field’ for HM2S is hair restoration education in professional salons and beauty schools. A training curriculum is in the making. The goal is to teach and train salon professionals in a proprietary hair growth and restoration process and understand this hair pulling disorder. This will make hair restoration processes more readily available to ‘Trichstars’ (what HMS2 calls them) and ALL OTHERS that need and want the services. Restored hair, restored beauty, restored life!

“Once everything is ready, we will begin pitching it to hair manufacturers and others helping to form an alliance for change. Our vision is BIG. We know the more we talk about things like ‘trich’ and hair as healing, the more of the stigma we remove from it. This makes it easier for sufferers to come forward and seek out help and assistance without shame.”

For the record, volunteers are allowed to write off certain out of pocket expenses on their taxes. That is helpful later, but in the meantime, in this particular instance, you’re charge the equal of $500 per person (by the organization). For a family of 4 people (1 adult 3 kids) equals $2000 (excludes airfare) for a 3 day volunteer experience……

What do you think? For a volunteer venture…….Pricey or not?

“I kept in contact with a Haitian American I met on the plane.  For his family of 4, it would have costed him maximum $800 and rather than working as a volunteer staying at a hostel, he would have been vacationing on a resort.”

For more information regarding the trip to Haiti and what HMS2 future plans can mean for YOU. Contact Board at HelpMe2Stop.org

FACEBOOK ALBUM LINK

I do a lot of my own media coverage, especially in this economic climate. Getting the word out in this sluggish economy is all important. And we know that marketing and promotion is essential for any event to be successful. There are some good tips here for all of us.

How to Get Local TV to Cover Your Event | poconobusinessjournal.com.

I decided to interview Lisa Diemer of Kitchen Chemistry as she is a model for other women who have dreamed of having their own “little shop” one day….

PW:How long have you been in the baking business?

LISA: I’ve been baking since I was a child.  My dad was a baker and would bring home these wonderful creations.  I would daydream about being able to do that too.

.   After a few years of searching for the perfect location, Main Street just fit like a glove.  I love being a part of the Main Street experience.   I see the area growing and changing for the better.  I feel blessed to be a positive part of this growth.

PW: What hurdles should a woman be aware of before she makes the move from her home to a storefront location?

LISA: The biggest hurdle I had to overcome was myself.  I was afraid of the changes that might take place with the commitment of an actual shop.    I also was afraid of how my family life would be affected.  It turns out that they love being a part of this adventure just as much as I do.    Of course,   I can’t attend every family event anymore, but I really appreciate the ones I can get to.

I think the most important thing a woman should know before moving from home to a shop is that it’s important to ask questions and really hear the answers.      Things don’t always make sense before you actually take the step – but there is a lot of support in the community.  I found that everyone wants you to succeed and is willing to guide you.

PW: Who are your customers? Who attends your classes and buys your cupcake creations?

LISA: I’m in a happy business.   Everyone is smiling when they walk out our door.   Our classes are geared to anyone young at heart!  Ages range from 8 to 80!   We make sure every student has fun and is proud of their creations.    We have in depth knowledge of all the supplies we sell and we’re eager to help.

Our cupcakes are little packages of joy!  Our hope is that when someone opens a box of our cupcakes, they feel like they’re opening a present.

PW: Has being a member of PoconoWomen helped you in any way, and if so, how?

LISA: Pocono Women is such a positive force in my success.  The support these ladies offered me when I was getting my business off the ground was priceless.  With Pocono Women, we’re all in the same boat, trying to blend our family and business lives together and sharing what we’ve learned with each other.

###

Kitchen Chemistry is a bakery located at  733 Main St in Stroudsburg. Lisa offers many baking classes beside her delicious packages of joy – cupcakes! Her business is can be found on Facebook and in our online Directory.

The time will be the same – from 8:30 AM for early bird networking to 2 PM with a champagne brunch served at 11 AM.  You may wish to consider sponsoring us and getting your logo listed on our website. Details are available by inquiring within.

Tickets will go on sale in September. For those of you who already purchased tickets for the May event and didn’t request a refund, then your ticket is prepaid for the November event.

If you need more information, please email me at info@poconowomen.com or call 570.620.3486

SAVE THE DATE:

“Embrace Success”

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5

8:30 AM TO 2 PM

IT’S OUR TIME!

Take a closer look at the roles that black women are given in this new platform.  According to Allison Samuels of Newsweek Magazine, the head-bobbing, eye-rolling, finger-snapping, trash talking, angry black woman is beginning to raise some eyebrows amongst other black women who just aren’t buying it as valuable TV time. Why, they ask, drag yourself down, when other black actresses and personalities have worked so hard to get there in the first place – in roles  that were feminine and had more class, such as Bill Cosby’s wife from The Crosby Show. Why take the slippery slide downward?

This type of TV show is not just limited to the black woman, however. I am an Italian-American and proud of it. I watched Snooky and her friends carry on for one episode and vowed never to waste my time on that show again.  “Jersey Shore” is not on my TV schedule. I find these female-types to be offensive and degrading to other second or third generation Italian-Americans or to any Americans for that matter.  All that arguing, trashy – mouthed, slutty behavior just doesn’t make we want to spend time with them or be virtual friends with them.

It boggles my mind that we seem to always want to dive deeper into the human psyche and bring out the worst in people for entertainment, or is it for creating stereotypes? Haven’t we gotten over it yet here in America? Or do we insist on pounding home the message that if you’re black you act one way and if you’re Italian another way and on and on?

I just don’t get it. TV could be used for so much more. Why do we find it necessary to ridicule a culture? Why do we need to demean an ethnic or regional group of otherwise hard-working people? Why? What’s the point? What good do we get out of this kind of entertainment? What do our children learn from this type of TV? Do today’s parents really allow their kids to watch this stuff?

I thought that we were making progress when we got away from those first Reality TV shows where they made people eat worms or allow bugs to crawl over them. I am sorry to say, I think it hasn’t come far enough.

Bring back the worms.

What I found interesting this year as the elections played out is how many women were actively involved as candidates or as instrumental movers and shakers. Locally, a number of women were actively involved in getting out the vote or running for the roses. Let’s look at how some of the women played a definite role in this season’s elections here in Monroe County.

Some women were candidates for offices ranging from township supervisor to one judicial candidate.  Almost all were successful. While one or two lost the primary bid, a few others will proceed to move onto the November ballot and continue their campaign. District Judge Race between Debby York and Colleen Mancuso come to mind here. A Township supervisor race will also continue into November with Annette Atkinson facing off her opponent in Middle Smithfield Township.  And on the county level, two female incumbents will battle it out with two male incumbents of the opposite party.  These contests should be watched closely and we should all support the best candidate, regardless of gender.

However, I think it is worth noting that so many women are stepping up to the rigor of the political process and throwing their proverbial hat into the ring. It is beneficial for the county, the municipality or the township to have the input of the feminine viewpoint on such important, governmental matters that could affect our families and our lifestyle on a daily basis.

Say too for all those female campaign workers, wives and / or managers! They spent many hours organizing, calling, polling, going door – to – door and eating beyond their normal portions to stand by their candidates. My observation has been that most all male candidates ‘campaigns usually have some very organized, hard working females involved with their races. With a good woman or two on board, the fundraisers get organized, the  communication plan gets kicked up and  sometimes the candidate gets marching orders of where to be and when.

So here’s to the women out there who are running for office or helping someone who is. Remember to take some time for yourself and breathe. But please know that we applaud your involvement, regardless of the outcome. After all, I write this from the perspective of watching the struggle of the women’s movement evolve to today, where our daughters wonder why we even had to have a woman’s movement.

And that is a good thing. J